The Family She Never Had
by jedi.princess.superhero
Summary: They were everything her parents weren't. They loved her like family. A possible look into Sabine's past.
1. Hera

**Hello! So I re-watched a bunch of episodes from Season 1 yesterday and because I love Sabine so much, I was inspired to write this. Her past and her character really intrigue me. This might be kind of confusing and I realize that I really don't understand much about Manalorian culture so I could be 100% off in this (sorry)...but I hope you enjoy!**

 **Also I do not own Star Wars Rebels or any of its characters.**

* * *

Hera was everything her mother wasn't.

She remembered the first time Hera had looked at her work. Hera complimented her. She had asked Sabine if she could see more.

It was the complete opposite reaction her mother had...

"Mom! Mom! Look!" Sabine ran in holding the brightly colored paper in front of her. She stopped in front of the older woman and smiled, excited to share her work.

"Not now Sabine, Mommy's busy."

The other Mandalorians around the table all reacted differently. Some scoffed, while others glared. A few laughed and one smiled down at the little girl.

"But Mom, I-I drew it for you!" Sabine tried again, anxiously glancing at the people glaring down at her.

"I said, not now! Go!"

Sabine figured she should have been used to her mother's coldness, but still she let out a small gasp. Hanging her head,she slowly walked away, but not before standing on her tip-toes to slide her picture on the edge of the table.

Sabine flattened herself against the wall and held her breath, trying to hear what her mother's reaction to her drawing would be.

"You should be gentler with her. She only wants your approval." Sabine did not recognize who's voice that was.

"Children cannot win a war." Sabine did recognize her mother's voice immediately. She refused to believe that she recognized the sound of paper being crumpled.

* * *

"What's that?"

Sabine instinctively clutched her sketchbook to her chest.

"Nothing."

"Do you draw?"Hera asked gently, making no move to look at the sketchbook, but showing genuine curiosity.

"A little." Sabine admitted. That was a big lie. She drew a lot, but she was cautious. Who could blame her.

"My mother used to draw, and though I was never any good at it, I do have an appreciation for art. May I?" Hera held out her hands.

Sabine hesitantly passed over her sketch book, hoping for her new ally would indeed be a fellow art lover.

Hera's eyes widened when she saw what Sabine had created.

"It's the Mandalorian symbol." Sabine explained.

"I recognized it, it's just that, I've never seen it like this, with so many colors. I knew you were artistic from your armor but this, this is amazing!"Hera commented. Sabine found her cheeks heating up. She couldn't remember the last time she received a such a sincere compliment. Her mother always ignored her, and Ketsu would always just smile at Sabine affectionately saying "Oh little sister. You're creativity is refreshing." But Ketsu hadn't really cared, not the way Hera seemed to.

"Do you have any more?" Hera asked, snapping Sabine out of her thoughts.

"No. Not yet. It's a new sketch book. I just bought it today." Sabine admitted taking the sketch book back from the Twi'liek. She fondly remembered meeting back up with Kanan in the market after taking her own little excursion to find it. Kanan had asked her what she bought and she sassily responded with "That's none of your business, ponytail."

Sabine liked to mess with Kanan. He kind of reminded her of her father, but she was not about to let him know that.

"Well, when you have more, show me. You've got real talent Sabine." The Twi'liek put a hand on the teen's shoulder before making her way back to the cockpit.

"I will..." Sabine said out loud even though Hera was out of hearing distance.

* * *

Hera was everything her mother wasn't.

She encouraged Sabine's artistic abilities. Hera let Sabine know that she understood. Unlike her mother...

"Mom?" Sabine called knocking on her mother's door gently.

"Come in Sabine."

Her mother sounded calm and Sabine knew she had chosen the right time.

"What is it?"

Her mother was working, hunched over something on her desk. So Sabine waited until her mother looked down at her to speak. Sabine had begun to notice that her mother always manipulated situations so she could look down at her daughter.

"May I paint my room?" She blurted before she could think. She had planned a presentation highlighting the reasons why this was a positive idea, and had even written a backup speech to prove her point if needed. But there she went, blurting it out like the child she wished she wasn't and ruining her chances.

Her mother only blinked. "What? Why on earth would you want to do that?"

Sabine was shocked her mother had not shut her down immediately. "To express myself. To release my creativity!" Sabine was about to go on but her mother held up a hand.

"What did your father say?"

Sabine recalled the conversation she had with her father two days ago, before he left with The Death Watch again. He had instantly brightened, exclaiming it was a wonderful idea and that he couldn't wait to see his Bean's new room when he returned. If he returned...

Her father was always out fighting, rarely ever home, and because of that he did everything he could to make his daughter feel loved, because he knew she never received any when he was gone.

"He gave me his permission." Sabine said excitedly. Her mother just turned back to her previous work. Sabine froze. "So-may I?"

Her mother sighed and spoke without turning back to the young girl. "Does it involve or disrupt me in any way?"

Sabine thought for a moment before answering. "Not at all."

"Then you are free to do what you wish."

Sabine brightened. "Really?"

"If I didn't mean it would I have said it?"

"Oh! Thank you Mother! Thank you!" She cried nearly jumping up and down before running out of the room.

"You're going to have the buy the paints yourself!" Her mother called after her.

"I know! I will! Thank you!" Came her daughter's reply.

Her mother shook her head. "I don't think I'll ever understand that child..." She murmured.

* * *

After 30 minutes of pacing, preparing and planning Sabine had finally worked up the courage to do it.

"Hera?" She called walking into the common room.

Hera was sitting on the wooden chair in the corner, reading from a data pad. She looked up at the sound of Sabine's voice and smiled.

"I thought you went to bed?" The Twi'lek asked, not even trying to hide the motherly concern behind her words.

"I have to ask you something." Sabine admitted nervously. Hera sensed the teen's anxiety and smiled reassuringly.

"Okay, ask away." Hera placed the data pad aside, showing Sabine that she had the Twi'lek's full attention.

That gesture made Sabine's confidence grow.

"I was wondering if I could paint my room...?"

Hera smiled even wider. "Well, I don't see why not."

"Are you sure? I mean it's your ship and-" Sabine had not expected her to say yes so quickly.

"It may be my ship, but it's your room. And you're apart of the crew." Hera said standing up and putting a hand on Sabine's arm. "I can't wait to see it when you're done. Just let me know if you need any paints."

"Thank you Hera." Sabine said earnestly. "Thank you so much."

* * *

Hera was everything her Mother wasn't.

Hera wanted her. Hera valued her. And Hera saw worth in Sabine without making her have to prove it. It shocked Sabine. Because Mandalorians valued strength and honor and each Mando had to prove themselves. Like how Sabine had to prove herself to her mother...

Her mother had said it was good news. Apparently, Sabine and her mother had different beliefs on what good news actually was.

Her mother had enlisted her in the Imperial Academy.

"You've become of age. It's time for you to learn how to fight, how to apply the skills and talents you've been born with." Her mother said helping fit all of her possessions into the suitcase.

"I don't want to go..." Sabine muttered dejectedly.

Her mother instantly turned on her, gripping her arms tightly. "You want to make me proud don't you?" Sabine paled. Her Mother had never gazed so intently at her before. It made her uncomfortable. "Don't you?!" Her mother repeated.

"Yes! Yes, I do!" Sabine said quickly, nodding her head furiously. She did. With everything she had in her she wanted to make her mother proud. And she would do anything to do so.

"Then go and serve your Empire." Her mother ordered.

And Sabine did. She learned. She worked harder than any other student in the Academy. Because she had a goal. She was a Mandalorian. She was there to earn her honor, to gain her strength. And her hard work paid off.

After five years she graduated from Level Four and became the first person of her age to become a Level Five Academy Student.

Before she started training in the Level Five coursed, she was granted a day to go home. Home.

Sabine had never been so nervous in her life.

She had made bombs, learned how to operate almost any type of weapon, she could speak fifteen different languages, but she couldn't open her own front door.

And she didn't have to. Her mother and father came rushing out. Her father scooped her up and spun her around. Her mother came over the instant her feet were on the ground and hugged her. Her mother had never hugged her before.

But she was hugging her now. And she kept exclaiming "Level Five! Level Five, Sabine!" Over and over again.

Way sooner than Sabine would have wanted, her mother pulled away, but kept her hands on Sabine's shoulders. "We're so proud of you." Her mother whispered, keeping eye contact with her daughter.

Sabine gasped as tears started to fill in her eyes. Her mother pulled her in again and Sabine relished in the embrace. Her father soon joined in and for a while the three of them stood, holding each other. They only separated because her father had stated they had a surprise for her. He slipped a Mandolorian Helmet into her hands. Sabine's eyes widened.

"It's time to forge your armor, Sabine." Her mother smiled.

Sabine had never been so happy. It was the best day of her life.

But then everything changed.

The next time she came home was less pleasant.

It was the middle of the night, Sabine was breathless from running.

She stopped in front of the door and only hesitated for a second before knocking.

A few minutes later her father opened the door in his bed clothes.

"Sabine? What are you doing here?"

She pushed past him and ignored his question.

"Sabine? The Academy didn't tell us you were visiting..." Her mother said coming into the light.

"I had to get away! I couldn't take it anymore." Sabine admitted looking pleadingly at her mother.

"What's going on Bean? Are you okay?" Her father asked stepping in front of her.

"Why are you here Sabine?" Her mother demanded. Her tone was the complete opposite of her father's. Her father sounded worried, her mother was suspicious.

"I can't do what they want me to do. I'm sorry." Sabine hung her head.

"What are you talking about?" Her father questioned.

"She ran away." Her mother said flatly. "Go back before they realize you're gone."

"No, Mother. I'm sorry. I can't." Sabine declared boldly.

She had never stood up to her Mother before now.

Her mother's eyebrows shot up in fury.

"You can't?!" She repeated incredulously.

"Why? Why can't you go back?" Her father asked curiously trying his best to maintain calm.

"I can't ask questions. I'm forced to do things without knowing! I can't do something without knowing why I'm doing it! Without knowing the effect that it has! I've been following them blindly for five years because I wanted to please you! That's all I ever wanted! I never cared about the Empire! I just wanted your approval! And I'm not sorry for this! I'm not sorry for the choice that I made! It's my life! And from now on I'm not going to let you make my decisions for me! I'm not going back. I'm never going back to the blasted place ever again."

Sabine had never been so sure of anything before now.

"You insolent child! How dare you!" Her mother spat, but Sabine did not even flinch. "You go back right now or I'm disowning you."

Sabine's eyes widened just as her father screamed her mother's name.

"You can't do that! This is not just an act of teenage defiance! She's afraid!" Her father protested.

"I'm not afraid." Sabine argued.

"She's a coward! She's weak!" Her mother screamed. The words hit Sabine like poison.

"I am not weak!" Sabine yelled. She was crying now. She could not remember the last time she cried. It sure made her look like a fool. Crying as she declared she was not weak.

Her mother turned on her.

"Either go back...or get out." Her mother's voice was dangerously low and it made Sabine cry even harder.

"No! Sabine! Don't go anywhere! We'll get this worked out." He assured. But he had lost control of the situation a long time ago. Sabine sprinted past her mother and father who had begun arguing again and she drowned their screams out. She ran into her room, it was still painted the way she left it, and she grabbed her armor. It was a little dusty from just sitting around but just like her room still painted like Sabine had left it. She changed quick. She stole her family's emergency credits from their vault after.

She hesitated for a moment in front of the window. Her parents were still arguing, and Sabine knew it could be hours before they stopped, before they even realized she was gone.

She was ruining her life by doing this, but at the same time, her life was finally beginning.

She crawled out the window and into freedom and left her honor with her mother, far far behind her.

* * *

Sabine realized she had never actually said goodbye.

It was as she stood in front of the Lasat, Human, and Twi'lek who had all helped in nursing her back to health, who had shown her kindness she had never deserved to receive, that she realized she had never had to say goodbye before.

She ran away from her parents without a goodbye. Ketsu abandoned her without a goodbye.

"Do you have everything?" Hera asked looking her up and down as if accessing one more time whether or not she was well enough to be leaving.

Sabine looked down at her armor, almost completely faded now, the explosion that almost killed her had also completely ruined her paint job. But at least she still had it and her holster with her two blasters. That was all. Everything that had been on her when the bomb exploded was all she had now.

She nodded.

"Okay. Then this is goodbye." Hera stated almost sadly.

"Take care of yourself." Kanan nodded at her.

"Right back at you, ponytail." Sabine remarked. Her lips twitched when Kanan rolled his eyes at her nickname for him.

She looked out at the open ramp behind her, then back to the crew.

"Thank you again. For everything." She was stalling now. Because she didn't want to be on her own again. She didn't want to be alone.

"Don't mention it." Zeb said gruffly, but there was warmth behind his words.

"We were happy to help." Hera added.

There was an awkward silence then. Sabine thought Hera wanted to hug her, but was being held back by something between them. So Sabine held back a sigh and turned away.

She was about halfway down the ramp when she froze. It was freezing outside. And dark. And there was a bar a few miles away. She could hear the sound of the drunkards even from where she stood. She turned back to them.

"I know you don't now me very well, but I studied for five years at the Imperial Academy. I'm far from Imperial though! I know who you guys are and what you guys do. And I want to do it too. I want to help others like you helped me." They all looked equally shocked.

Of course. What was she thinking? She had to prove herself. To show them she was strong enough to join them.

"Like I said, I studied five years at the Academy! I was top of my class, and I even made it to Level Five. I can speak fifteen different languages. I know just about everything there is to mechanics. I can fly almost any ship. I'm not bad with these blasters, and if you give me the right equipment I can make-"

Hera cut off her desperate rambling."Sabine! You don't have anything to prove! We know you're skilled and we could use your help. In fact, we even debated about asking you to join our cause. But eventually decided we would leave that up to you." Hera admitted, sharing a glance with Kanan.

"What? You-really?" Sabine stuttered.

Hera smiled. "If you want to, we would love for you to become Specter 5." Hera offered holding out her hand.

Sabine blinked.

Sabine had never been given a choice before. Her mother forced her to go to the Academy. With Ketsu, sure Ketsu had offered, but Sabine didn't have any other choice. She was too young to take care of herself and needed help.

But now, she could walk away and survive on her own. She just didn't want to.

She stepped forward and firmly shook Hera's hand.

"Welcome to the family, Sabine."

Sabine knew Hera was teasing, but she held tight to that word. _Family._

She smiled at the gruff Lasat, who smiled back. And quickly glanced at Kanan who gave her a proud nod. And then back the the Twi'liek in front of her, who was looking at her warmly. Warmer than anyone had ever looked at Sabine in her life.

Hera was everything her mother wasn't.

Hera loved her like family.


	2. Kanan

**Hello! So I wasn't really planning on continuing with this story, but I started to anyway just for fun and ended up getting really carried away with it.**

 **I don't really now how I feel about this chapter, I don't know if I did the characters justice, but I had fun writing it!**

 **Once again I don't know a lot about Mandalorian's and their history(sorry), and I also do not own Star Wars Rebels or any of it's characters.**

 **On that note, I hope you enjoy some SpaceDad and Sabine bonding. Thanks for reading!**

* * *

Kanan was there for her when her father never was.

Sabine recalled the first time she had been old enough to understand her father as leaving.

He was saying goodbye to her mother so Sabine thought it was the perfect time to grab her back. When she came back she not only had her bag ready, but she was wearing her mother's helmet. She didn't think her mother would mind her borrowing it. Her father was the one going away to fight after all. Not her mother.

Her parents must have finished their farewell because they both turned back to her.

"Sabine! What do you think you're doing? You know you aren't allowed to touch my armor!" Her mother scolded.

Sabine shrunk under her mother's reprimand. "But I need it!"

"And may I ask why?" Her mother demanded before putting her hands on her hips expectantly.

"I'm going with Daddy!" Sabine gave both her parents a toothy grin. The little girl had it in her mind that this was the best surprise she could ever have given her parents.

But her parents eyes widened and they looked at each other. Clearly both were surprised at their daughter's plan. Her mother just sighed and rubbed her temples muttering "I can't handle this right now."

So her father took it upon himself to kneel in front of the little girl and take off the helmet. He smiled and cupped Sabine's face gently. "Sabine, as much as I would like to have you with me," he started. "I have to go by myself. You can't come."

The child looked heartbroken, and her bag slipped from her hand and clattered to the ground. "Why? Why can't I go with you?"

"Aw Sabine...don't look at me like that. I swear if I could I'd stuff you in my bag and take you everywhere with me. But it's just too dangerous. You're too young. I don't know what I'd do if you were ever hurt. So you have to stay here with your mom."

"But I wanna go with you!" Sabine whimpered as she wrapped her small fingers around the fabric of her father's shirt.

"I'm sorry sweetheart." He pried the child's hand off him and stood. Sabine's eyes started to sting. "Be good for your mother. I love you." He offers his child a genuine smile, before disappearing behind the door. And leaving his family behind him.

Sabine's breaths grew quick and rapid. This couldn't be happening. This isn't what she planned. She was supposed to be with him. They were supposed to be together.

"Do not cry." Her mother ordered, not even turning to look at the child. Instead her gaze was fixed on the door."Crying is a sign of weakness. And we have to be strong...for him." Sabine nodded and rubbed her eyes, but her mother didn't see. "Now go unpack and put my helmet back."

"But I'm not allowed to touch it!" Sabine reminded

"Well, that didn't stop you from taking it in the first place did it?!" Her mother snapped. "Put it back. Now!" Sabine scooped up the helmet and her bag and ran back to her mother's room.

She had to climb on top of her parent's bed to get the helmet back to it's place on the tall shelf. She was on her tip-toes and the helmet was high above her head in her hands. But it was too heavy for her. Reaching with all her might, she slid the helmet onto the shelf or, she thought she did. It wobbled precariously on the edge for a few seconds and then tumbled back down, colliding right with the girl's skull.

She cried out in pain and collapsed onto the bed. She curled herself into a tight ball and grabbed her now throbbing head. She waited for her father to come in and hug her. To ask her what was wrong and kiss her head gently. To give her a cold pack and hold her until her pain faded away.

But then she remembered. Her father was gone. He would be back but who knew when...

And either her mother didn't hear her sharp cry or her mother did and frankly, just didn't care, because she was still alone a few minutes later. She squeezed her eyes shut to keep tears from falling, remembering what her mother said about being weak. She would be strong.

Sabine couldn't resist the urge to wrap herself in the sheets on her father's side of the bed. Because if she closed her eyes and took in their scent, it was like she was in his arms.

But when she opened her eyes, she was alone.

* * *

Sabine's head throbbed.

She mentally scolded herself as she collapsed into a chair in the common room. She had been too close to her own bomb, and while no major injury came from it, the blast had knocked Sabine back and her helmet smacked into a wall, leaving her with a small bump on her head and nasty headache.

She remembered how earlier when she was prepping, she was so nervous she had almost left with Kanan without her helmet. Which resulted in Hera chasing Sabine down and making sure the girl had the protection she needed for the challenge ahead.

At first Sabine had been embarrassed because she had only been a part of the crew for a few weeks, and she was so desperate to please them she wasn't thinking straight. But Hera quickly eased Sabine's frustration.

"You ready now?" Hera has asked as the Mandalorian slipped her helmet over her head.

"Yeah, thanks." Sabine assured.

"You've got this." Hera assured.

Sabine managed a small smile. "I know."

"That's my girl. Take care of Kanan for me. Make sure he doesn't do anything stupid."

"I heard that." The human male called dryly from the Phantom.

Sabine was glad she was wearing her helmet, because Hera didn't see the girlish blush that had risen to her cheeks at being referred to as Hera's girl.

Her head screamed again and she suddenly had to breathe. She felt trapped in her helmet. So ripped it off with a soft groan and tossed it aside on the table.

"You okay?"

Sabine looked up quickly, too quickly, and fought down a wave of nausea.

It was Kanan. The older man was standing at the doorway, looking down at her worriedly.

"I'm fine." Sabine assured hoping to dismiss him. She just wanted to be alone.

"You did good today." He said from his spot, showing no intention of leaving.

Sabine groaned internally...and then realized what he said. He had complimented her.

"Thanks." Sabine managed as the pride grew in her chest. The whole reason she had been nervous for the mission was because she had been going with Kanan. He was the leader. He was Specter 1. He was the head, he was a warrior. Like her father. And maybe that was why she wanted him to be impressed by her so badly.

So when she had been slammed against the wall, she stood back up, swallowing down her pain, and ran after Kanan, assuring she was fine.

She would never show weakness, if there was one thing her mother taught her it was to be strong.

"You slammed into that wall pretty hard." Kanan pointed out, snapping her out of her thoughts.

"That's why I wear the helmet, ponytail." Sabine snapped trying to get the ringing to stop.

Kanan frowned at her and narrowed his eyes.

"You sure you're okay?" He asked taking a few steps towards her.

"Yeah. I'm fine." She said looking back up at him.

And the way Kanan looked at her, it was as if he was looking through her. It was as though he was examining her thoughts and her feelings and seeing right past her lie only to see her pain.

"Wait here..." Kanan ordered before leaving the room.

If there was one thing Sabine hated more than anything it was being ordered around. But, she had been trained to follow orders and with the way her head was throbbing she didn't think she'd be able to stand up even if she wanted to.

When Kanan returned he had a cold pack with him and he gently handed it to her.

"Think this'll help?" He asked with a cocky smile, because he already knew the answer.

Sabine couldn't resist but to let out a pleasant sigh as the cold pack brought her instant relief.

"You should probably get some rest. None of us would mind if you retired early tonight." Kanan assured. Sabine opened her mouth. "And don't even say you're fine, because I know you're not."

Sabine closed her mouth and bit back a huff.

"Come on Sabine." Kanan held out his hand and Sabine only took it because she wasn't sure she could stand on her own.

Kanan helped her up and led her to...his room.

"I'm not dying, ponytail! I don't need you to monitor me. I can go to my own cabin." Sabine said suddenly feeling very uncomfortable.

"Have you even been in your room? Those paint fumes are the last thing you need right now." Kanan said gently pulling Sabine back again."You can lay down in my cabin until you feel like yourself again."

That was how Sabine found herself, laying down on Kanan's bunk as he turned down the light.

"I'll be in the cock-pit with Hera if you need me." Kanan said softly.

"M'kay." Sabine said letting her eyes slip shut. Then Kanan left, leaving Sabine alone in the darkness. She found herself smiling, because if she turned her head, she could take in the scent from the bedroll. It smelled like aftershave and other smells she used to associate with her father. But the difference between Kanan and her father was that, if she needed Kanan...he was only a room away.

* * *

Kanan was there for her when her father never was.

But that wasn't because her father didn't love her. No, Sabine knew her father did love her. And in a way that made things harder, because that meant she missed him more.

"She's crying." Sabine heard her mother's voice from the other room. She sounded disgusted.

"Why? Do you know?" Her father asked,worry quickly creeping into his voice.

"No, I don't know!" Her mother snapped. "Would you make sure she's alright? I have to finish dinner."

Sabine heard the sound of footsteps approaching and soon gentle hands were lifting her chin up. Her father was kneeling in front of her, giving her a supportive look.

"What's wrong Sabine? Why are you crying?" He asked gently. The child threw herself into her father's arms, weeping bitterly. He made quiet slushing sounds and rubbed her back mindlessly. "Please Sabine. Can you tell me what's wrong?"

"T-they were ma-making fun of me!" Sabine sobbed.

"Who? Who was making fun of you?" Her father pried as he held his daughter.

"My friends! They w-we're making fun of my name!"

Her father gently pulled away to examine Sabine's tear stained face and rubbed his thumbs against her wet cheeks.

"What did they say?" He asked.

"They kept calling me a Bean!" Sabine choked out.

Her father's lips twitched. "They...called you a Bean?"

"Uh-hu! A Bean!" Sabine started to sob again, but her sobs quieted immediately when she heard the sound of a quiet chuckle.

Her father was laughing. Laughing.

"It's not funny!" Sabine yelled angrily.

"It kind of is...it's cute! Like a nickname! Bean! I like it! Hey Bean! How are you today Bean? Ready for bed, Bean?" Her father teased.

"Dad stop it! I hate my name! I hate being called Bean! I'm gonna change my name one day and no one can ever call me Bean again!" Sabine declared, standing up.

"You're name holds your honor, Sabine. You will never change it." Her mother said from the kitchen. Sabine frowned and crossed her arms.

"I will change it..." Sabine muttered.

"Don't disrespect your mother, Bean." Her father said seriously with an amused glint in his eyes.

"Stop it! Stop calling me Bean!" Sabine demanded.

"Aw, come on." Her father scooped up the pouting child and set her down in his lap."It's a term of endearment."

Sabine blinked up at her father. "A what?"

"A term of endearment." Her father repeated with a smile. "It's like a nickname that someone says in love."

"In love?" Sabine asked, cocking her head like a confused Tooka.

"Yes. Because I love you, silly Bean."Her dad said kissing her head.

"Dad!" Sabine whined.

"C'mon little Bean! I like it, and it suits you. So that is your new nickname." Her father said.

"Daaaaad!" Sabine cried, pushing him away.

"Ohh now she's an angry bean!" Her father laughed.

When Sabine's father laughed, no matter how Sabine was feeling, no matter what had happened to her, she couldn't help but laugh too. So she let out a giggle herself.

"Sabine, you have a beautiful name. And I hope you never change it. Because your name, Sabine Wren, is an example of how much we love you." Her father told her gently cupping her face.

Sabine almost corrected him by saying "You mean how much you love me." But she bit her tongue. Her mother was listening after all.

"Understood?" Her father asked.

"Understood!" Sabine nodded.

"Dinner." Her mother called.

Sabine pulled herself up in the chair next to her father.

"So what did you make?" Her father asked once Sabine was set.

Her mother placed a large plate in the center of the table and she could've sworn she saw the ghost of a smile on her mother's face. But it quickly disappeared.

"See for yourself." Was all she said.

Sabine's eyes widened. She and her father turned to each other, their jaws dropped.

"Beans!" They both cried.

* * *

"I have a name you know!" Kanan said exasperatedly.

"Oh I know. But it's just so fun to see you irritated, ponytail." Sabine smirked at the older man before diverting her attention back to her drawing.

Kanan sighed.

"If you're going to call me ponytail, it's only fair that I get to fall you by a humiliating nickname." Kanan argued turning back to the teenager.

Sabine didn't even look up. "It's not supposed to be humiliating. It's a term of endearment, ponytail." Kanan groaned. "And Sabine smiled."Look, if you can think of a good nickname, you can call me by it."

"Okay. Okay." Kanan nodded and leaned his elbow on his knee. A sign he was in deep thought. Sabine had to bite her tongue to keep herself from laughing. It was just a nickname.

"Stop laughing at me." Kanan snapped, not even opening eyes. But only only made Sabine ant to laugh harder. "Gah! I can't think of anything." Kanan finally exclaimed.

"Well, my dad always used to call me Bean." Sabine blurted casually before she could stop herself.

Then she froze. The tension that suddenly filled the air was thick.

And Kanan noticed. Neither one of them said anything and Sabine tried to go back to her drawing, but she didn't feel like it anymore. Her pencil rolled out of her hand and she watched as it rolled off the table.

After a moment, Kanan stood and picked the pencil back up, before placing it back on the table.

"Now that's a term of endearment." Kanan said gently before sitting next to the girl again. "I can't call you that. I need a name that's as demeaning as ponytail."

Sabine heard the amusement behind his tone and she turned to smile at him.

There was a small pause.

"Kanan," she started hesitantly. The older man looked at Sabine, and waited patiently. He couldn't think of a time she had actually called him by his real name since she had joined them. And he knew that how he handled this moment would define what their relationship would be like. "If you want me to stop calling you ponytail, I will."

"It's okay, Sabine. Although it may not seem like it, I really don't mind." Kanan assured.

"But I want to." Sabine said quickly.

"I thought it was a term of endearment." Kanan teased.

"Nah, I think Kanan is just as endearing." She teased back before picking up her sketchbook and leaving the common room. "See ya later...Kanan."

Sabine offered him a small smile over her shoulder before walking away. And before she turned away, she saw Kanan smile back at her.

* * *

Kanan was there for her when her father never was.

She remembered the first time her father hurt her feelings, she was used to it from her mother, but she had never expected it from him.

It was a simple thing, a reasonable reaction on her father's part. But that didn't mean Sabine was untouched by the situation.

"Bean? Hey Bean, do you have my helmet?" Her father called from around the corner, he came into the room and stopped right in his tracks.

"No, no, no, no!" Her father cried reaching down and snatching the Mandalorian helmet out of her hand, before the pink marker could make contact with it. The little girl looked at at her father confusedly.

"Dad, give it back! I was gonna color it for you!" Sabine held out her hands above her head and waited for the helmet to be placed back in her grip.

But her father didn't move. He had to be careful with how he handled this, because he didn't want his daughter to be upset, but he also really didn't want pink flowers all over his battle armor.

He managed a weary smile down at his daughter and said "Bean, as thoughtful as that is, I-uh think I'm okay."

"What?" Sabine asked, a look of hurt passing over her features.

"It's just that, I like my helmet the way it is." Her father admitted placing the helmet under his arm and resting it there.

"You don't like when I color for you?" Sabine whimpered.

"No! No! I love it! I love when you color, Bean! But my helmet, is my helmet, and only I can color on it."He quickly disregarded the helmet and got down on his knees so he was eye-level with her.

"But-but your leaving again tomorrow! I was gonna color it so that whenever you wore your helmet you would remember of me." Sabine was about to cry, her chest heaving up and down wildly.

"Aw Bean, I don't need you to do that. I always think of you when I'm away." He assured kissing her forehead, lovingly.

Sabine's mother called for her father and he stood up.

"Be right back, Bean. And when I'm back, be ready for bed." He ordered. Sabine watched almost horror stricken, as he father grabbed his helmet from off the table he had placed it on and walked away.

Anger rose in Sabine's chest and she ran over to her pillow and screamed into it.

It was the first time her father hadn't let her express herself.

* * *

"Kanan can I paint your armor?"

The older man choked on his caff.

Sabine waited patiently as Kanan coughed until he could breathe again.

He stared up at her with wide eyes.

"What?" He finally asked.

"Can I paint your armor?" She repeated pointing to the solid green protective covering on his shoulder. "It just looks so plain and boring. I know I could give it the missing touch it needs."

Kanan's eyes drifted to the purple and pink concoction on the girl's chest plate.

"Um..." He looked back at Sabine nervously, maybe trying to decipher is she was joking or not, but Sabine was deadly serious. And he must have seen it in her eyes, because he cleared his thought nervously and set his caff down.

When he spoke again, his voice sounded an octave higher than normal. "I-I'm good."

"Kanan, please!" Sabine pleaded instantly.

Kanan shook his head and stood up, hoping to physically escape this conversation.

"I appreciate the gesture but I really don't want-" Kanan headed for his room but Sabine stepped in front of him.

"Kanan, I wouldn't do anything I knew you wouldn't like! Trust me!"

"I do trust you! You're a part of my crew! I trust you with my life, just not my armor." Kanan gently pushed her out of his way and made it to his room before she could stop him again.

Sabine felt her face flush in anger. This was not happening again.

It was later, after a few hours of sulking, that she heard Kanan's door whoosh open. She stealthy opened her door to see Kanan making his way towards the fresher...without his shoulder armor.

Sabine almost laughed out loud. This would be too easy,

She took that thought back when she realized he had locked his door. It was the third time she had tried guessing and failed, when Hera approached. "What are you doing?" The Twi'lek asked with a hand on her hip.

Sabine stiffened. "I-uh..."

But Hera wasn't mad. She had an amused smile on her face Sabine hadn't noticed at first. She simply strode forward and typed in something on the keypad. The cabin opened. "I didn't see anything, I didn't do anything. In fact, I was never here." Was all Hera said. Sabine flashed Hera a thankful grin and quickly snatched Kanan's armor plate.

She was hoping to have finished before Kanan was out of the fresher, but just as she was putting on the finishing touches, Kanan banged on her door.

"Sabine!" He yelled.

"I'll be with you in a moment!" Sabine called, looking over her work one last time.

"Sabine! Give it back!" He demanded.

Sabine smiled maliciously. "You got it."

Sabine opened her door and held out her work proudly.

Kanan was standing there, his hair was wet, and he looked frazzled. It made Sabine smirk.

"Here you are." Sabine smiled holding the armor plate right in his face.

"Oh..." He blinked. He looked completely and utterly shocked at the fact that all she had done was painted a white symbol on the green, as if he had been expecting pink and multi colored hearts and flowers. Sabine rolled her eyes.

"Don't look so surprised, Kanan. I told you I wouldn't do anything you wouldn't like."

"But I thought-" He gently took it back from her.

"I wasn't going to make it pink, Kanan! Geez. Next time have a little faith." She teased. She came around him and looked over his shoulder at her handiwork.

"I don't really know what it is, but to me it just seemed like you. It's loosely based off the Mandalorian symbol. If you flip it upside down you'll see it. Because even though you're not Mandalorian, in my opinion, you posses the strength of a Mando. But it's also unique. It's different. Because you're different from anyone I've ever met. You're unique. There's something about you that makes you stand out."

Kanan smiled down at Sabine, and the way Kanan was looking at her, was something she hadn't experienced in a long time. He was looking at her with appreciation. With thanks. All because of her work.

"I love it, Sabine."

Sabine smiled. "You're welcome, Kanan."

* * *

Kanan was there for her when her father never was.

She would never forget all of the lonely days and nights she spent suffering under her mother's cruelty. She would never forget how many nights she spent praying, crying, begging for her father to be there with her.

She wished that as she hid in the corner of the dank old bar she had stumbled upon.

"-Bine? Sabine?! Sabine, where are you? Sabine!" Kanan had been relentless, calling her over and over again. He had stopped using her code name a while ago, something they only did when the situation was urgent.

Sabine quickly turned off her comm. She couldn't talk to anyone right now. She couldn't face anyone right now.

She wanted to cry. She wanted to scream.

She had ruined the mission. Why? Because she was a coward, just like her mother thought she was.

It had just been a simple pick up. To resupply TarkinTown for a few months.

And just as they were about to reach where the transaction was to take place, Sabine saw someone she hoped she would never see again. Her mother.

She was walking, straight, tall and proud, as though she were the most important person in the world and she knew it. Her jaw was locked and tight, the way it always was when Sabine did something wrong.

Sabine froze as a flood of memories and emotions hit her like a giant Walker slamming into a mountain.

Both Zeb and Kanan stopped too, asking what was wrong. But they sounded far away.

She thought she was just imagining her mother. Why would her mother ever leave Mandalore? She prayed she was just hallucinating. It made no sense. It couldn't be her. She was just seeing things.

But then her mother turned, and Sabine had no doubt. She saw her mother's hard face clear as day. And she panicked.

She broke into a sprint, rushing right past Kanan and Zeb, who were calling her name. As she ran she ducked in between vendors and booths. She ran faster than she had ever run before. She had no idea where she was going and she didn't care. Just as long as it was far, far away.

Eventually, when she couldn't run any more, when she thought she would collapse, she saw the bar, rushed in, and went right to the corner to hide. To hide like the pathetic child her mother thought she was.

That was where she had been for the past few, minutes? Hours? She couldn't tell.

She swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat.

It was then a strong and comforting hand touched her shoulder. "Sabine?"

Sabine reacted on instinct, grabbing the hand and pulling it behind the person's back, before slamming them against the wall.

"Woah! Woah! Sabine, it's just me! It's Kanan!"

Sabine quickly relinquished her hold on him. She looked around hesitantly, but everyone else in the bar must have been to intoxicated to notice their little scene.

Kanan let out a small groan as he pried himself from the wall. Sabine was too anxious to even apologize. "How did you find me? Why did you follow me?! Couldn't you tell I just wanted to be alone?!" She snapped.

Kanan ignored all her questions and stared intensely at her, while simultaneously rubbing his aching jaw. Sabine was glad she was wearing her helmet, because she knew if Kanan was able to actually look into her eyes, he would be able to read her in a second, and she would break down.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

She had expected him to scold her. To berate her. To be angry at her. But here he was, worried about whether or not she was okay.

She was far from okay. She was everything but okay. Yet she said "I'm fine."

"What happened?" She wondered how he managed to be commanding and gentle at the same time.

Sabine knew there was no avoiding this conversation, there was no way to lie. Kanan would be able to tell. She slumped back against the bench.

"I-I saw someone I haven't seen in a while. I didn't think I would ever have to see them again."

Kanan seemed to understand because he gave her an empathetic look and sat down next to her.

"I'm sorry about the mission." Sabine blurted before Kanan could press any further on the matter.

Kanan was quick to assure her. "It's fine. Zeb can handle a few crates on his own."

They sat next to each other for what felt like a while, because Sabine was not ready to go back out there. Not yet. "Sabine-" Kanan started hesitantly.

"Kanan, I really don't want to talk about it." Sabine snapped defensively.

"I know. And I won't make you." Kanan promised turning to face the younger girl. He placed both of his hands on her shoulders. "I just want you to know that if you ever need to talk about it, I'm here."

Kanan was there for her. Kanan was there. Unlike her father. Sabine choked down a sob at his words. She was definitely not one for physical contact, especially hugs, but she had never had such a strong desire to hug Kanan then she did in that moment. To bury herself in his embrace and feel the safety she had been missing ever since she ran from her father. She felt a tear stream down her cheek, but smiled at the encouraging half smile Kanan was offering her.

She suddenly reached up and grabbed Kanan's hand. Giving it a gentle squeeze she whispered "Thank you Kanan."

Kanan was there for her when her father never was.

Kanan loved her like family.


End file.
